You were a fat kid. How was growing up like?
I had a very happy childhood but that didn’t necessarily make me a happy child. There were nicknames that stuck with me till the end of school… because of how fat and scary I was. And even now I am called by those names…by a few. No one expected me to be an athlete. I wanted to be one…badly. But I couldn’t get myself to do anything about it. Most of my clothes were from the boys section. I dunno if that’s what made me part tomboyish in school. There were days I couldn’t even recognize I was a girl…until I had to urinate. I had really short hair. In fact, just to make a point…I have always had short hair…my whole life. I am proud of that. I don’t have too many things to be proud of. I was the strongest person in my class during my fat days..the big bully guys were scared of me too…in a funny way, mostly. We would arm wrestle in class and I’d win against everyone. I even beat two seniors at arm wrestling. And the glory of winning caught on…it made me feel good. And I stuck with that image myself apart from everyone else.
What bothers you?
All that poppycock about how faith can move a mountain. Why can’t it just remove the damn mountain? And word play really bothers me.
What do you do?
I think shallow thoughts. In my free time I develop a complex. I like to quote Buddha in any heated discussion I am not involved in. One can’t go wrong quoting him under any circumstance. Sometimes I make up quotes and give him credit for it. People listen.
Basically, I’m jobless.
What else do you do in your free time?
I try and keep my eyes open for really long, without blinking…until they start watering. And then I think of something sad and pretend like I am crying about it. I like to eat a lot of biscuits. I like to moisturize random parts of my body. Like, if it’s my leg…I only moisturize my calf…not the entire leg.
Tell me about your tattoo.
It says “His Lucid Dream Forever Young.” Let’s not get into what it means. I was 19. It made sense to me.
Where do you think the world is going?
It should be going to some place really angry. The world isn’t angry enough…too many ugly things happen because the world is not angry enough to do anything about it.
What’s your favourite book?
None in particular. All the old ones. Because they smell nice.
What are you listening to these days?
Golden heart – Mark Knopfler – A Night in London
Tell me something that’s important to you.
I am like any normal girl my age, I think. I go out…get a few drinks with my friends…eat…smoke cigarettes…dance like a retard…throw up sometimes…get horny…go to sleep. But if in the middle of a Pitbull song where I am shaking my rear against a wall with my hands doing their own thing in the air, and everything paused because of some divine intervention and I had to choose to do something else, it’d be to sit in my room alone. Or be alone…anywhere. Solitude. When I realize I can no longer have it…and I have let too many people in to kick them out instantly or easily, I go bat shit crazy on them. The more I socialize and get out and fall in love and make friends, the more my appetite for being alone grows. Looking back at the question, I see I have deviated from the point.
What are you going to do now?
I’m going to get my cycle fixed.
Anila DJ. Studied Mass Communication. Currently unemployed. Turned 23 this month. Lives in Bangalore. Photographed in Versova, Bombay.